Day 12, Venom.

The final step. Mr A clearly reckoned without Fox and his crack fighting chaps. The maze barely slowed us down, thanks to that old bit of advice I remember about the Aitch-Cee - don't keep going one way or the other or you'll come to grief or the centre, I forget which. The old Ess-Bee-Cee-Ay-Esses were ridiculously easy pickings for chaps versed in the secret technique, and the big cheese wasn't any trickier. Then it was a leisurely stroll back to the hangar where, finally working with one accord, Peppy, Falco and I took Slippy round the back and kicked his face off and broth. Crossword and bed.

Day 11, Area 6.

The big push. Finally the chaps are pulling together, leading the En-Gees a merry dance and then shooting them in the head from behind. It finally dawns on the brass the old Gee-Eff's a battleship, so we pot at a few En-Gee brigadiers with a good old aerial bombardment. Big celebrations in the mess. Big broth.

Day 10, Sector Z.

Slept in today. Woke to find Peppy, Falco and Slippy cheering and generally carrying on. Seems there was a sneak attack on the old Gee-Eff and the saw it off without me. Falco's bird was knocked out, but he made it by billowing his poncho toupee like a parachute. Good work by the chaps. Odd feeling of listing to port for rest of day. Probably imagination brought on by broth.

Day 9, Aquas.

Turns out Slippy keeps asking about the Ell-em and the Bee-em because he built 'em. Found out fifty fathoms down. Never again.

Day 8, Macbeth.

Back in the bus for ground recce. Sterling air support from Peppy, who turns out to be quite a pilot now he remembers what all the buttons do. Slippy asking about the Ell-em again. V unsettling. Caught Falco cutting centre out of enormous toupee to wear as poncho with cut-out piece on head. Looks like fool. Threw points to send armoured train smashing into fuel dump at eighty em per and broth.

Day 7, Zoness.

Double helping of broth. Falco back in driving seat none the worse except for being completely bald. All feather blown right off. Shocking sight. Old girlfriend of his turned up to wish us well. He tried to make me pretend he was out while he flew underwater. Peppy on the ball once more. Sworn off gin forever now he realises he's a giant hare. Sank pirate. Read book. Bed.

Day 6, Katina.

Dickens of a day. Stopped by johnny believed he knew me. Explained didn't know johnny, johnny insisted not johnny but Bill. Poor chap. Probably shellshocked. Looked the sort. Took crossword to do before landing but distracted by having to eject over base. Brought down mothership with Webley, back in time for bed. What was four across?

Day 4, Solar.

Peppy very withdrawn today. Right off his broth. Falco keen on recce of local hotspot. His idea of joke, presumably. His boat caught fire and he spent the rest of the shift in hospital under sedation while his crate was crash repaired. Quite an extreme to go to for a laugh, so put across that joke appreciated with show of snorting outside his room. Liquidated mutant. Bed. Slippy took crossword.

Day 3, Titania.

The ridiculous Slippy pranged his kite. Had to set down in the old bus to pick him up. Took opportunity to bury Peppy's liquor, which I removed from his kitbag this morning before brekker (broth). Slippy OK, unfortunately. Kept asking me if the Ell-em was all right. Liberated planet and put down robot rebellion. Skipped tea. Crossword and bed with lovely cup of hot broth.

Day 2, Meteo.

We barely function as a fighting unit. The chaps spend most of their time calling for help or, in the case of Falco, shooting open rocks and acting as if he's saved my life. Some trouble with the radio - the chaps' banter seems deucedly hard to follow. Will give pep talk tonight after tea (broth again). Destroyed vanguard of space fleet. Crossword and bed.

Day 1, Corneria.

Morale high. Supplies good. Today I met the new chaps, Americans whom I have named The Three Stooges after the popular vaudevillians. Falco is exceedingly grumpy all the time. Peppy seems to have hit the bottle pretty hard after getting my father killed, and I try to stay away from Slippy as much as possible. He is a fool. Raised siege of Corneria. Broth for tea.